I had to let Spanky go..today *sob 
yeah..I’m a snotty mess..grieving him as were he my child
he was my child..he was ‘my bud’ .. for near 20 years
oh, how I miss him..already
………….
He had a place in the grass..where he laid every summer, to snooze
I called it ‘his grassy knoll’
that’s where we just buried him (after the vet tech came here and laid him to sleep, in my arms *sob)
(so hard! to do ..beyond words)
he’s in his most favorite, fluffy kitty bed, forever..covered by a blankie..looked like he was deep asleep and peaceful..as he surely is
ok..I have to go cry for a few more days.. weeks
.. he was a fabulous cat.. one of a kind
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April 15, 2010 at 7:46 pm
Patches
Aw, Rae, I’m soooooo very sorry. At least he passed away peacefully in his Mommy’s arms and he knew how much you loved him. Aw, I’m sorry, Rae.
Lotsa love and big hugs,
Patches
xox
April 15, 2010 at 7:49 pm
CarolJustCarol
Oh Rae, this is so sad. I’ve lost a few buddies over the years too. I’m crying for you. Patches is right, he knew that you loved him.
April 15, 2010 at 8:16 pm
Margie
So sorry Rae, I am sharing your tears !
You are also so lucky to have had your bud for 20 years !
How many wonderful moments you both had !
Bless Spanky he had the best Mommy !
You have a good cry then come back and start fighting again !
xo xo xo
Margie
April 15, 2010 at 10:53 pm
rae
warm thanks to you Patches, Carol, and Marge
really.. thank you
this is a tough night.. I’m so missing my boy..trying to get drunk enough to sleep , obviously, it’s not working
Spanky had CRF.. but his bladder/urethra blocked today. He tried to pee every three minutes.. I had to make the call
..and, of course, he began to pee when the vet tech was just a mile away
No matter..I’ve known for some weeks that he had a mass in his bladder..most likely cancerous
THIS DAY was coming..
I hoped I’d have had another lovely night as Spanky and I had..last night
he was so cuddly and I was petting him…kissing him..what a sweet sweet boy
We didn’t know what the morning would signal..so yeah.. we had a lovely last cuddle
thankfully
tonight.my eyes hurt for crying
many thanks to you Patches, Carol, and Marge
for understanding
means so much
April 16, 2010 at 1:43 am
krestiekrew
Rae… I am so very sorry, just wish I could give you a huge hug and some consolation. I also know besides loving him, he was your comforter during all the rough times with treatments and ups and downs. Just know you did the right thing for him and showed him the ultimate love by not letting him suffer, even though it has hurt you terribly.
I just wish I was closer to you because I would definately run right over with one of my little ‘naked’ cuddler babies for you to hold onto. I would hand one over to you with no hesitation and no second thoughts. Whoopie Do would be the perfect little comforter for you too, even tho she is a dog and not a cat.
If you need an ear… you know where I am.
hugs and prayers and good thoughts
Sherry
April 16, 2010 at 3:44 am
Pam
Rae.. i’m so very sorry It’s like losing [art of yourself.And now you have another angel looking out for you
April 16, 2010 at 5:51 am
kath
Awww rae sorry to hear about Spanky, it’s so hard to lose our furbabies but he will be watching over you ..
kath
April 16, 2010 at 7:01 am
Vicki
Rae, so sorry you had to let your Spanky go. He was an adorable looking cat. I know it’s very hard right now, but you know you did the right thing. i am glad he’s sleeping peacefully in his favourite sunny spot.
((((hugs))))
April 16, 2010 at 7:06 am
Patches
Rae, I can see how special Spanky was .. I got lost in his eyes in the picture above. My last thoughts before falling asleep last night were of you and your sweet boy, Spanky. I was wishing you to sleep.
Lotsa love and big, big hugs,
Patches
xox
April 16, 2010 at 8:06 am
Melanie
I never knew his name….I only referred to him as your fat boy…I am so sorry for your loss rae…I know he was your best bud for all those years…God love you…Blessings~Melanie:(
April 16, 2010 at 9:58 am
Carol
So sorry hun. It is terribly hard to lose your furbaby. I know how had it is to make the decision. I still remember holding my Coco while he went to sleep. Hugs and good thoughts.
April 16, 2010 at 1:40 pm
Rosebeenut
Aww rae – I’m sorry to hear of your beloved buddy. Such a terrible loss. Most of us know how you feel, unfortunately, so please know that we all feel your loss. I like to think that all of our lost pets are somewhere playing together, having their best days ever. Thinking of you rae.
April 16, 2010 at 2:10 pm
JuneHoney
I am sad for you too Rae, My pretty Pritt was 18 when she left me. Heart broken and crying like a baby, just like you are. Cats know and feel the love we give them. My heart hurts along with yours. It is a difficult time right after they leave us with our memories. Think about the wonderful happy times you had together and it gets easier when you remember. When you go to bed tonight, remember something he did that made you laugh out loud, smile and fall asleep with that smile and you will feel a heck of a difference when you wake up. It works for me. Prayers for you my friend. June
April 16, 2010 at 3:59 pm
rae
Everyone.. each of you kind, caring, loving women
thank you..thank you, All
knowing that my sorrow is shared..that my boy Spanky is with you in memory.
all I can say is this : your dear, warm condolences have heartened me..lifted me..calmed me
..made me cry..but so what else is new, today?!!
I worried I’d leave Him..
never did I think he’d leave Me
he simply went to sleep..peaceful sleep
comforted, and loved
We, left behind..as we know.. are who feel the pain of Loss
I’ll be ok.. just need a few more cry-days
I’m going to make a stepping-stone marker for my buddy’s knoll
..healing comes when memories bring a light heart
..cherishing our bond
..honoring our dear friend’s life..not as a pet..but as fellow traveler in Life, Together
I want you all to know..you’ve helped me
thank you
♥
April 18, 2010 at 6:05 am
MollyG
Rae, I’m so sorry for your loss. It takes such courage to do the right thing for our loved ones, furry and non-furry. What a good, long life your Spanky had. He was a handsome one for sure.
Gentle hugs,
MollyG
April 19, 2010 at 12:15 pm
Candy Hearts
Rae … I know we don’t know each other too well, but I am so sorry to hear about your loss …. especially in this trying time … my prayers are with you.
CandyHearts
April 30, 2010 at 4:35 pm
Lynn
I am so sorry about your best bud hun. My thoughts are with you
hugs Lynn
May 7, 2010 at 7:08 pm
Sandy
Sorry to hear of your loss. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
May 9, 2010 at 7:01 am
ANNADAMS3
I am so sorry for your loss Rae and hate to say that I know how you feel. They are our children and it hurts just as bad as losing a kid. Please feel my hugs and prayers for you.
Ann (I was Monahans earlier)
May 9, 2010 at 10:03 am
Joni
Awww….Rae…I’m so sorry to hear of your dear Spanky
Brought tears to my eyes as it brings back memories of my own dear critters who have passed
Sending you big huggz…xo